Edward I of England comes to Scotland to conquer the Scots.

He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield, there suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill. A short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt.

'Come up here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye a hammerin'!'

Edward turns to his commander. 'Send 20 men to deal with ( Read more... )

Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

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An FYI - The Tabbouleh I make rocks the world... oh yessssssssss it does! just thought I'd let you know that.

LADY'S YEARLY EXAM

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?' she asks.

I reply 135

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?

'I say  5 foot 4.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2".

She then takes my blood pressure and ( Read more... )

This is being classified as a Friday Funny, but it hits rather close to home sometimes...
Buried, swamped and otherwise pre-occupied with work deadlines, and crisis (budget weighing heavily in there)

Had a wonderful meet up with
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I call it Good Friday because

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An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, were vacationing in Alberta.

Bert always wanted a pair of cowboy boots.   So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, “notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looks him over, "nope".

Frustrated Bert storms off into the ( Read more... )

Friday Funny courtesy of stolen from
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 This is as offensive as I could get for this week kids...

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper ( Read more... )